1987

For the first time I felt alive, alert. Who am I? I can talk and understand responses. This is the year I was 5 and in kindergarten and I was in Catholic school. I had to wear a uniform and dress shoes and of course some thick ass tights lol. This was the year that started everything about me. How I looked at people, how I spoke, how I walked. My grandmother would drop me off to school and pick me up but I remember that for a while she didn’t. This was the year she had a mastectomy , and all I knew she was gone and  came back but missing a breast. My Aunt Bea always came when needed. She took care of me and grandpa while grandma was away. I don’t know where my mom was but i do know where I was. Grandma came home I was so happy that I slammed my finger in the door smh so of course the crying, the blood and the drama, but grandma still came and hugged me first because I was her baby. She didn’t care of her pain or discomfort she cared about me. This is when I really didn’t know why things where the way it was, all I know is this was the beginning of  knowing. Mom came home and I was so happy to see her but the top lock was on the door and my grandpa was yelling and my mom was yelling for me but I couldn’t get to her, or hug her I didn’t see her again for awhile. But strangely there were a woman that started to visit , I didn’t know her but she asked a lot of questions. I just wanted my mommy and know one else. What was happening to my life at this time I didn’t know but I find out a couple years later. Stay tuned!

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