Year 1!

Good morning everyone, it’s been a while since I posted. A lot has been going on and things needed and still needs my attention. But I spared some time to write .

The 23rd is the this month made 1 year since my grandmother passed. Some people ask shouldn’t I be over it by now? Who the fuck ask a dumb as question like that? Well, people do and they are fucked up . Anyway I am still in mourning and I will be in mourning until I can be released from the pain of not having her around to talk to or see. The memories are just not enough . What people don’t understand is that I am the only child , what that means is I have no sibling period . There is no sibling to help with the void. Yes I have cousins, aunts and uncle. But that’s not the same. Yet they feel the pain as well but it different for me because her blood runs in me. When she died part of me died too. My expectations of people have changed and this is why I’m distant from people. Things are definitely not the same for me or anything that is going on in my life. I feel her giving me signs and can’t figure out how to figure out what they mean from her. But I keep pushing through. This thanksgiving I did nothing but sit home with my kids and husband and watch movies and make some fried chicken and empanadas lol . I wasn’t in the mood to do anything. First time in years that I didn’t cook a thanksgiving meal . But maybe next year .

At the end of the day can’t nobody tell me or suggest how i greave or feel about her not being here anymore. Don’t be checking on me after the fact! 🤷🏽‍♀️

Published by shannonnicole12

Just a lady with a lot on the mind!

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6 Comments

  1. Thanks for sharing ! I’m sure that was difficult to write along with the difficult of going through ur pain! I pray that GOD gives you the strength!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I was thinking of you all day on Thanksgiving. This whole grieving business is very hard – very personal, very individual. Since my mom passed, I’ve had so many ups and downs – it’s overwhelming. Yes, the memories are amazing. But the loss is even greater. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to go about this, I’m just trying to stay open to my pain and accept it, work through it as gracefully as possible – and go easy on ourselves. It’s life changing. I love you, babe. Hugs, Amy

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Chile, I wish a MF would tell me when to stop grieving for my daddy and Goddaughter. You must
    Take your time, and you are doing just that! Thanks for sharing, I miss your posts! What I wrote today in my blog may help. Love you always!

    Liked by 1 person

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