Divided we stand!

The black community needs serious help. I say this with a heavy heart because we  are so divided and know it! Don’t get me wrong all races have their issues but when it’s time to support and come together they are strong and ready to fight for their cause. Unlike the black community we can never fully come together without reason.” If it don’t truly effect you there’s know need too” . Sad but true, y’all can get mad all you want but the truth hurts. For example, you start a business and ask for advice on how to get started , well unfortunately in the black community especially black woman they will not help you because they don’t want you to do better than them if they help you find your way. Other races will help each other because in their mind there is room for all and also they have enough confidence that another persons business isn’t their business so helping them get their way won’t take away from them. We are our own enemy . We riot when a unjust crime happens but that’s it we don’t take a stand and really change the cycle. We complain about how other races look at us but give them reasons to feel the way they do. Don’t get me wrong not all of the black community is divided but a lot of us are and we can’t get help if we are not willing to help ourselves. If you want change we much make the change. We must come together and make a change. Why do we like division? Why is it so hard to come together as a race and prove wrong? Is it hard to to? We are more than we think. We can def do anything in life so let’s show the world that we are great! Let’s not divide but unify !

Picky 

Good evening everyone! Y’all know I’m always thinking about the weirdest things but I was wondering if I was the only one who felt this way. I’m sure everyone has that one or a few people who are always picking . When I say picking I mean always picking something about you to criticize  about.  It’s never a high first but ” why your face look like that?” Or “why this or why that”  that bothers me to the core. Why is it so important for people to always pick out your flaws? I don’t understand some people. When we were kids we looked different and now we are adults and we look different. We as people change. But that doesn’t mean we don’t know the changes our bodies have gone through. Trust I know exactly how I used to look and how I look now. lol I’m not that skinny teen anymore I’m a mother of 2 with a mothers body lol. I know my flaws but do I have to hear it everytime? Why do people feel the need to say something but can’t stand when someone picks out their flaws? Am I the only one who experience this? 

Tolerance 

At some point we all have things we tolerate and things we don’t. At a certain age in our lives we one to realize that we don’t care about the things we used to care about. Me as I reach 35 in a few months I have come to realize that I have a low tolerance for bulkshit and I get upset a lot often than I should because people just irritate me more than usual. I’m becoming very blunt and quit honest give 0 fucks about people and their feelings. Some might ask why the change? Well it wasn’t a change I made on my own it was kind of a change that took over me. It was time I stopped caring and start being whatever with it. Why should I use up all my energy trying to make people happy or trying to be the positive person. Trying to help out as much as I can and gettin screwed in the end. Life brings you ups and downs but it teaches you from those things. It teaches you that you much take charge and stop people from taking advantage of you. Stop supporting people who don’t support you. Stop going the extra mile when people only go a yard. It’s not worth it. At the end of the day you will feel so much better. That doesn’t mean you become bitter or nasty, it just means you become aware of the bullshit!

Be humble

Growing up I was taught to never brag about things that I have or going to get. To never make someone feel less than yourself. Move in silence because people are always looking for fault or mishaps. I speak on this today because in the times we live in now there are more and more people trying to do better than the next person instead of just being humble. What’s the purpose? It’s like saying well since they have that I have to get something better than that. When your six feet under all that shit you were trying to do to make someone feel less is gone. If your purpose is to our shine . Then go head because that shine may come to darkness and when your in darkness it’s hard to come back to light. 

Etiquette 

Good day all how is everyone today? So this post is about etiquette and what is right and what is wrong. Basically how would you react to situations and would you approach that person of such. This is personal and general. Many people have friends and associates that ask you for things or favors of such and we sometimes do them or not, however when you do fullfuil those task are you 💯 ok with it or not? Many of you may know I am a hair stylist, even though I am not fulltime anymore with it I still do it . There comes a time where we have to put our foot down and say no or think before agreeing to a task. I always thought that I was too nice of a person that I would do things for people because I felt bad or I just felt uneasy. Thinking that they would take care of me one day. For years I have done that. It also got me to a point that I stopped doing hair all together because of disgust of bad etiquette. People take advantage and that’s a fact. People would ask you to do a service and make you feel bad for your fee so you drop your fee to satisfy them but hurt you in the  end yet they have know problem going somewhere else and paying full price for a service with know problem. That’s grime and horrible to do to a person you call friend specially when they take care of you. Resently I have done a service and till this day it bothers me because I felt very cheated and also offended to a point where I now look differently.  Yet I know that because the person I am, I just whatever with it but now it’s bothering me to the point where I no longer want to bother with any events pertaining to this person that I call family. I did services for this person yet I didn’t give my fee upfront I take blame for that however I figured ” this person is friend/family ” they will hook me up. WRONG, it was a slap in the face not only did I put out mare than I should I got nothing in return. I know we do things not to expect a return but this is my business and where is the etiquette? Do people not tip anymore if they done  a service for free ? Not 1 but 2 services. What kind of person are you to not know proper etiquette? When I get a service done I take care of that person because it’s proper and it’s what’s supposed to be done . Period and even if the service is free you bet your ass I’m gonna take care of them because I know how much stuff cost. The beauty industry is very expensive. Some people really don’t get the cost it takes to have GOOD product and service . Replenish what was used it cost. You love what you do but also want to make a profit not break even. Yes we lose people due to the cost but that’s life we have to stay true to our craft. You can’t go to a doctor office and say what you want to pay.  Your copay is like a tip when you get a service for free. Meaning your insurance is gonna cover the visit but you got to pay a copay “get it”. Does this mean that if you don’t take care of me I won’t take care of you? No I’m still gonna do my all because at the end of the day it’s my business and my name. But I will tell you this I won’t be available to those who try to play me. I can be petty if I want to. The moral of this post is learn etiquette and stop being selfish and acting like you don’t know better. 

Depression

What is depression? Feelings  of severe despondency and dejection.

It’s not easy being forward with your feelings and most time people who deal with this don’t. People really don’t know what it feels like when you are down and out. Trying to show strength on the outside but your weak on the inside. Always feeling  down and alone, know one can help you because you can’t help yourself. It’s like your trapped in a box and can’t get out.

Looking for things to help but nothing can help. No will to do anything yet you want to do things but you have know will power. People who don’t understand what your going through will never know what your going through. Crying yourself to sleep at night because of your worries . Being tired during the day because you don’t sleep well and you can’t focus on your daily duties because you are deprived of rest. Taking everything people say to heart when it doesn’t need to be that way. Yearning for approval but not willing to accept yourself approval. Wanting to be accepted. Hurting yourself when things go wrong because you feel you need to be punished or because you feel people want you gone. These are things some people deal with on a daily. We take light to those who look for help but can’t ask for it. We look down on people who deal with this because we are ignorant to knowing what it is or how to help. Next time you see a loved one, friend etc ask them are they ok and you ask yourself if you are ok with that answer! 

Finding yourself!

Good afternoon everyone, yes I have been gone for a while but I’m back.  So lately I have been sitting around and thinking about me and everyone . Finding who I really am and who am I supposed to be when I grow up lol.

Some of us think they know themselves but in reality we don’t. We think we now what we want but sometimes what we want isn’t what we get. We fight hard for understanding but it is unclear . We get what is for us at that but we must figure out what we really need. Do you know what you want and need during your life?

Short

Why do we sell ourselves short on love? Do you settle for the thought of what we want or do we just take what we think we deserve? Is there really a thing called ” happily ever after”? 

You have that woman when she is a child dreams of that fairytale, the one where the prince fights all the evil ringer to his princess. The one who announces his true love for you and you blush with happiness and yall get married and blah blah blah. All of us go through that in life however did you end up with that ? Is this the life you thought you would have? Is it to late for you? 

What happen to the dream of love? That love that when all you think about is Him or Her? Does this still exist? What happen to the thought of loving someone so much that your heart skips a beat when you hear their name or voice? In the world we live in now is this still the major goal? Besides the money, the house, the cars, even the kids is this still a possibility? Do you still want this? When you thought you had this did you feel short of the goal?

Faith

Faith! As children some of us are brought to church to learn about Christ. Some as adults grow to learn on their own. But what some people tend to do is do what they want and use the word faith without the true intentions of faith. Some of y’all might get a little upset on this topic however you can feel what you want but let’s be clear you can take it or leave it. 

I was raised in church since 2 months old as my grandma told me. However I only remember from 5 until now. But I can tell you that the Bible was in my life until I had my daughter. I learned about “Christian” ways and the “unchristian ” ways . What we are supposed to do what not to do. What life we are suppose to lead and what life not too. But what I never understood was when you are in the “House of the Lord” and your hearing the word what word ar some hearing? I ask because some people do some off the wall things , for example : talking about people, yelling, not talking to people , judging , etc. it was like you go to church then come home and it’s free ball or don’t even wait to leave the church.

How about stuff happening in the world, old school superstitions, and what to do for a positive year etc. Where was your faith? If you have Faith in the Lord why would you need the superstitions or old wivestales. Why do people turn on and off their faith? Do they not believe or do they believe when its convenient? Why do people feel the need to push on you their beliefs but get offended or angry when you don’t feel the same way? Where is their “Christian” like attitude ? You can’t force people to believe in what you believe in and you certainly can’t force people either. 

I grew up in church and yes I believe but is my faith strong like it used to? I have faith but it’s not as hardcore as before. Do I believe that the Lord will bring me through? Absolutely! I just learn to see the fake in the people who consider themselves “Christians” and they are not! People don’t surprise me anymore, it’s almost expected. I should not have to explain myself to anyone about my Faith because it’s my faith! 

My grandmother wants me to go the church but I feel like why do I have to go to church to prove my love and respect to the most High? I teach my kids about him all the time and know one should even think about questioning me about that. I do believe that church is the biggest scheme of it all. I never understood how a mega church “bishop, pastor” can live in million dollar homes, drive Bentleys etc, and your some of your church members are living in property, regular homes, kias, hondas, etc.  they pay their “10%” and where does that really go? We out here struggling and they out there buying private jets. Mind you the house some of them live in mortgages are paid but the church , funny ain’t it ! So let’s see what’s really going on. Church folks are so willing to judge but never themselves! Remember some people only are faithful when things goes their way! Let that sink in. Stay tuned !

Sista sista

Being an only child has pros but also has cons. I’m not sure how grandma found out about this program or all the stuff she got me into but she did. We went to the city to interview and of course here go the questions again about me and what I like and don’t like.  But I found out this place was the big sister program headquarters. So let’s just say my very first encounter wasn’t the best.

There was this lady her name was Tasha. She was nice, just got married and didn’t have kids that’s what she told me. I liked her because she was pretty so I thought hey she’s pretty she must be nice I can do this lol. Well the following week she picked me up and took me to the movies. We had fun and I thought she liked me , we had a great time. I don’t remember the movie it was but I was excited to go again. She was suppose to get me again in 2 weeks but she didn’t show up. My grandmother called but no answer . The agency called and got no answer at all. She disconnected her communication. I was so hurt and sad, here I go again people leaving me again. So of course I cried , who wouldn’t? I was done. But grandma wasn’t done neither was the agency. They had to find me another big sister, but a good one this time.i hated going to this place because it was in the city and I hated the dirty trains lol, but I went lol.

So we get there and there was this really pretty lady. She smiled at me and I blushed. I said Ronny grandma “that’s my big sister” , she said ” we don’t know yet”. So the lady called us in and said she found another sister for me and called her in and guess what it was her the pretty lady in the lobby. I was so happy her name is Amy !

She took me everywhere, movies, the city, museums, radio city, mets game, Tavern on the Green. I went to her home, I stayed over , she taught me new things, even influenced me to the profession I hold today. She came to my choirs anniversaries at my church. She even held my 12th birthday party at her place. She taught me so much, and of course I gave her a hard time at times but I didn’t mean to be difficult. What I do to deserve such a sister like her? That’s what I thought . I thought she would come one time and leave me like the others. But she didn’t , maybe my luck was changing🤔.

That all changed when she left me for good. Her boyfriend and her decided to move to California 😳 . Why did she have to go? Was I not good enough? Was life better there than here? Could I come ? I felt sad , depressed and just hurt. I love her she was my sister for years , she watched me grow. She taught me about makeup and hair stuff , and shoes. She taught me that love has no color ❤️. She still sent Birthday and birthday cards. She never forgot. She always thought of me and so did her boyfriend. They even got married and now is very successful and have 2 handsome boys. I’m blessed!